Lesson 11: Eat Some Chocolate

In Toby's early years he had developed a very big love for chocolate... well for carbs really.   Anything sweet or bread was fair game for him.   And once again living up to his nickname MacGyver, there was no safe place on the counter or island that could keep Toby from his love of chocolate.   He once ate an entire large pan of fudge brownies.   He was sick for several days,  but the 10 minutes of chocolate bliss must have been well worth it because many more years were filled with multiple attempts (many successful) to fill his tummy with delicious treats.

We knew that things had changed for Toby when we realized that he no longer went on those secret raids for goodies.  In a sense his joy was diminished because he could no longer partake in the fun in his life.

The lesson here is to always find a little chocolate in your life.  Literally speaking,  even the healthiest of people need a little comfort food from time to time.  We humans have a natural need for it no matter how hard we try to fight it.

Symbolically speaking, our lives are chaotic, busy and often times in need of some "chocolate" joy to complete the equation; to keep things balanced. It provides an outlet or stress reliever that our bodies or minds need.

My sweet indulgence is, well chocolate unfortunately,  but also music.  It gives me a way to escape for a short time.  I can certainly tell when I haven't had an opportunity to play or write music.  I start to feel frustrated or restless.  Thankfully my wife keeps the house stocked with treats to fill in!

What is your "chocolate?"

Psalm 34:8 ESV

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!

Lesson 7: Look Others In The Eye

Toby had these big brown eyes that could really pull the heartstrings.  No matter whether he wanted something or wanted to show concern, he would always look straight into a person's eyes, which made it really difficult to say no or stay mad at him.  I could always tell when he wanted to get my attention to communicate with me.  He would look at me, if I didn't notice, he would scoot in closer and look at me again. 

There is something really genuine about looking someone in the eyes when talking to them.  It shows respect,  honesty and commitment to the conversation.   I have to be honest,  since using a smart phone I have been horrible at this important aspect of communication.  I see a lot of people making that same mistake.   It's time to get back to basic communication: face to face with true conversation without interruption from technology.

Use those big brown eyes, "baby blues", or any other color of eye crafted by our Creator to truly commit to communicating with friends, family and co-workers. You never know what good will come from the conversation...it worked for Toby.

Psalm 19:14 ESV

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

Lesson 15: Enjoy The Arts Daily

This is the last lesson from Toby and it comes on the day that our son and I left our camp site and went to the National Music Museum on the campus of the University of South Dakota in Vermillion before coming home.

Our son is a cellist and has wanted to visit so we thought this was a great opportunity while we were close to it from our camp site.

One of my favorite memories of Toby was when our son would go to his room to practice he would close the door.   When Toby heard that door close he would literally sprint to the bedroom so he could listen to our son play.   He would hear Toby coming and open the door to let him in.   It was almost comical because soon after this routine started,  our son would just close the door and wait for Toby before he would sit down to begin practicing.   I truly think that Toby was there not only because he loved to be where our son was but also because he loved to hear him play his cello. 

Toby would lay in the room for hours while our son played.  It must have been soothing for him.

No matter what you feel about music or any form of the arts,  try to listen to music, read poetry or experience visual art daily.  

Regarding music, even explore outside of main stream music and find something not as popular.  There is so much great music out there that isn't recognized by the majority.  Music has such an incredible way of connecting with the heart and emotions and has played such an important part in shaping who I am.

Even on his last night with us, Toby mustered up all his strength to take one last journey to hear the sound of the cello.  It was that important to him.  Be like Toby and always stop what you're doing to listen to the music (or any other art form).  If you haven't, watch the movie August Rush.  It truly brings to light the importance of music in our lives.

Psalm 150:4 ESV

Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him with strings and pipe!

Thanks for all the lessons Toby.  You've been a blessing far beyond the wonderfully fulfilling 12 years with us.  I hope this short blog has paid adequate tribute to your legacy.   We'll be seeing you.

Lesson 4: Take Many Walks

One of our regrets with Toby is that we didn't take near enough walks with him.   He loved to be outside but only if we were out with him.

When we did go for walks or even runs with Toby,  he was so happy.   Good conversation happened with my wife or kids when we went on our short excursions with Toby.   We were not only able to get a little bit of exercise and conversion,  but we were able to take in the experiences of the world.  I love nature but I seem to forget it quickly.  And of course Toby was able to get in some much needed tree-sniffing time. 

So my advice for anyone is to take more walks.  If you are not physically able to,  find a  wa to get mobile and go outside.  Get a view of your world, and even your walking partner, that may be different than what's possible in other settings.  On our last walk with Toby he didn't make it very far.   He tried to keep going but I finally had to carry him back home.  He was still glad to get out a bit. 

Take the time,  it's important.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 English Standard Version (ESV)

19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Lesson 3: Be a Cuddler

Toby was a faithful companion.  He always wanted to be where we were and loved to cuddle with us in bed.

Even though he was a mid-sized dog,  he often tried to hop on our laps as though he was a lap dog.  I think he needed the touch and companionship as much as we did.

There is so much power in a hug, hand shake, or a gentle touch.  I sometimes wish society could go back in time to the days when hugs were more welcome and given more freely without the worry about being misunderstood.  It's too bad there have been so many hugs that have ruined lives with hurt and pain.  

Hugs are so important to family, friends and sometimes even to strangers.  Let's find ways to offer a caring touch without sending the wrong signals.  And more importantly, let's find ways to become more open to receiving a hug or a warm handshake. God blessed us with the gift of loving touch.  If you haven't hugged your child, parent, spouse, partner, friend or other loved one today, please do so.

I think of the healing powers that Jesus' touch had.   We may not cure disease with our touch but we could heal a broken heart. 

Dogs are amazing companions that we often take for granted.   They are a God-given friend.  We should live more like them. 

Mark 5:24-29

New International Version (NIV)

²⁴ So Jesus went with him.
A large crowd followed and pressed around him. ²⁵ And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. ²⁶ She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. ²⁷ When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, ²⁸ because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” ²⁹ Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.

 

Lesson 13: Be Yourself and Be Proud

Toby came from some pretty good lineage I'd say.  He had a beautiful stance and he walked very proudly.  Though he was a purebred he had his quirks.  He wasn't the smartest tool in the shed despite his crafty ability to get out of sticky situations or get sticky treats out of hard-to-reach locations.   And above that,  his bladder got a bit too excited to see people like he himself did.

Despite these qualities he always stood tall and didn't let these things bother him.  He always acted like he respected himself and was proud of who he was.   By nature,  this is difficult to do for many of us.  We tend to be humble and may have low self-esteem.

Like who you are...no LOVE who you are.    God made you this way.  You are a gift and your uniqueness is what makes you special.   Some say that I'm a bit odd; that my ideas are strange.   Well, I'm secure enough to say "Yes!  I am kinda strange but I know that God loves me anyway."  My ideas may not take the road most travelled,  but they have purpose and may be really good if someone gives me a chance

If you don't live who you are, make a list of 10 good qualities about yourself.  Don't stop until you have the list of 10 complete.   Read the Bible or ask someone to help you find verses that encourage your self esteem.  Surround yourself with positive people.  You are who you hangout with most.

Get a Toby in your life. Dogs do wonders for one's attitude.  Know that you are blessed.  You are special.

Ephesians 2:10 ESV

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Lesson 14: Explore

I had to laugh at this one.   I actually listed these lessons long ago and then wrote about them as the day came.  Our son and I are camping as I write this and will be exploring some hiking trails today.

Like us and probably any dog, Toby also loved to explore.  It's amazing how their noses take them in little adventures every day isn't it? 

We need to explore,  we need a little adventure in our lives.  I'm not saying we all need to be adrenaline junkies and jump out of planes or something (go for it if you want... not me! ), but find something that is out of the norm.  Explore new possibilities for a job;  just to dream a little if nothing else.   Get those creative juices flowing to create some variety in your life.   Take a class on something you've always wanted to learn.

God wants us to be happy and to have an exciting life.  He didn't promise an easy one,  but he wants us to be happy so he blessed us with opportunities to explore and minds to create new ones.  Don't let these trails be wasted!

James 1:1-27 ESV

James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes in the Dispersion: Greetings. Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

Lesson 12: Live a Life of Meaning

I believe that all of us have purpose in life.  Humans and animals alike have been created by God for a reason.  I think Toby was created for our family.  He was created to make us smile when we needed a lift in our day, or a cuddle when we needed to loving touch.  He gave us a lot and unfortunately it took his death for us to realize just how much of a gift he was to us.

I struggled for the longest time to realize what my purpose is in life.  Though I may not have figured it all out, I did take time with God to take a hard look.  Through prayer and real-life circumstances I came to terms with the harsh reality that my life was not going to go how I'd planned.  What I realized is that I did have a purpose: to live a life of meaning. 

This realization meant that my creativity had to come out of dormancy and get to work.  I had to turn my back on the life-long notions that had driven me thus far.  My meaning did not have to be packaged similar to the likes of well-known life-changers that I'd looked up to for so long.  Like Toby, I had to find my own brand of meaning and live it; no matter how big or small.

That wise ol' dog did it right.  He focused on his strengths and ran with it.  The older I get the more aware I have become of my strengths and weaknesses.  If you desire something more in life,  understand your limits and your talents and make the most of them to live a meaningful life.

What does a life of meaning mean?   Well that's up to you;  but if you are a person of faith, Jesus made it pretty clear in the Bible.   Live a life of love and service to others and God.  Making the world a better place is pretty significant even if your world doesn't grow beyond your own circle of family.   Make the most of it.   You'll then find meaning.

Mark 12:30-31 ESV

And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Lesson 10: Change Is Good

One of the quirky things about Toby is that he urinated in the same spot in our yard his entire life.   Needless to say it became rather difficult to protect the grass so it eventually died.  I planned on putting pavers there eventually anyway so it didn't make too concerned.

Just like that spot in our yard,  parts of our existence can die without change.   While not always the case,  change is a positive influencer to ensure growth. 

The large void that Toby's death created has certainly caused change in our lives. Just think of all the lessons we've learned through this life change!

God didn't promise an easy road in this journey of life;  but through all of the changes in front of us he offers hope that, through that change, there is the hope of growth and betterment.  

Good lesson Toby!

Romans 12:1-2 ESV

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Lesson 9: Forgive

Toby lived forgiveness.   All the mistakes I made as a dog owner were no match for the heart of that dog.   I'm amazed at the unwavering loyalty and love dogs show to their owners. 

This is where I truly think dogs are angels.  If the stories of Jesus don't break through our thick skulls, dogs are round two!

We, once again, can really learn from Toby's life.  No matter how long we stayed away without letting him out or giving him attention,  at the end of the day he still welcomed us with the wag of his tail or the wide-open arms to tackle us with love

We are like prodigal children,  constantly receiving the gift of second chances.  Open arms of forgiveness are so awesome to experience on the receiving end,  but also the giving end.  There is a healing process that occurs for both parties.   Forgiveness is healthy.  

Do you have an experience of forgiveness to share?   Post it here or on my pages if you want. 

I'll leave you with a link to my worship album with my old band.  The album and title track is Arms Wide Open.  Very fitting for today.   Enjoy listening and I appreciate your support if you choose to download it.  

Luke 15:20

But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

Lesson 8: Love

This was the post one of our daughters wrote on Facebook the day Toby died.

"Toby,  you had more love than you really knew what to do with.  And because of it,  you showed it to everyone you were around and left us with the best memories.   We could all use a little Toby in us.   We'll always love you."

This pretty much sums it up.   Toby had plenty of love for everyone.   He always wanted to be around people.   Those big brown eyes were filled with love and concern for all of us.  

It was truly amazing how he always demonstrated concern and compassion for others.   If we were sad or having a bad day,  it seemed as though Toby really understood and tried to console us.   He would come close,  look at us caringly and give us an occasional lick to say that all will be ok.

Even during his last days, as we would cry because we knew our time with Toby was limited,  he would look at us and try to get close to comfort us.

To have that kind of love,  selfless love,  is a gift from God and of God.  It is such a gift to love and to be loved. I think Toby was better at loving unconditionally than we were.  We know that Toby,  along with all dogs,  are a gift from God because if their unconditional love and loyalty.

1 John 4:8 ESV

Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Toby knew love because he was created in love.   

Toby with  one of our daughters.

Lesson 6: Learn Always

We decided we wanted this purebread Wheaton to go through obedience training so he would be safer and a more manageable dog.   It was almost comical to watch me try to train Toby.   He was tenacious remember?  But then, I probably was not the best trainer.

Toby's lineage included a grandfather who was a dog show champion; and considering his nickname from house training days, I figured he would be teachable. 

He was a difficult nut to crack despite his bloodlines.  For a while I did okay. He listened to my early commands...kind of.  Then I lost interest in taking so much time to work with him and the things he learned faded.

This experience reminds me that we should all strive to dedicate a part of every day to learning.   Whether it is for your job or a hobby or other interest, work at improving through learning. 

I'm not an avid reader and I regret that. From time to time I try to read tech or self-help articles to try to learn something in the area of my interests and now it's getting easy to learn something through videos.  There are so many ways to learn. I'm striving to be more intentional in learning new skills and to continue working at it so they won't fade away.   Will you join me?

Romans 15:4

For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.

Lesson 5: Be a Good Friend and Have Good Friends

Everyone needs a friend and everyone needs to be a friend.

Toby wanted to be friends with just about everyone.  He was a very friendly and caring dog.  Even cats liked him.  

We have been housing 3 cats from some relatives that have been displaced from a house fire.   They are all friendly cats to start with,  but one in particular had become quite attached to Toby.  Below is a photo of his last night with us.   Our son,  Toby and his cat friend were spending some quality time together.   This cat named Callie, seemed to be abke to tell that Toby was ill and would often brush up against Toby as what appeared too be a sign of friendship and care.

Friendship is a blessing of giving and receiving. When we have good friends we received love, support, and just general companionship.  In good times and bad, a good friend is there for us.

It is also very rewarding to be a good friend. We get a chance to be selfless, and focus on others instead of ourselves.  God asks us to be a good friend to others; to love them. 

Toby was a good friend.   He always loved,  even when we didn't deserve it.

John 15:13 (New Living Translation)

There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends.

Lessons from Toby

On July 3rd, 2001 we picked up a fuzzy little Soft-coated Wheaten Terrier puppy from a breeder who happened to be in town to ship off a couple of siblings to other states.  He was the cutest little thing with a tongue that would not stay in and a smile that was infectious to all around him.

We named him Colonel's Favorite Toby, or just "Toby."  he was a dog full of love, affection and energy.  He was with us for 12 years and taught us so much. Unfortunately it took his death for those teachings to be fully realized.

This blog is an attempt to collect all of those teachings in one location. We hope to memorialize Toby as the dog that we all loved and to share our experiences with all of you.

Lesson 1: Smile

When we first brought Toby home,  we noticed that he seemed to always have a smile on his face with his cute little pink tongue sticking out.   His smile was infectious.

Life is so much about attitude.  I really believe that the more we smile,  look for the positive in life and try to laugh,  the better life will be in our mind.   No matter what real-life stuff we experience,  finding joys and meaning in life will balance out the negative experiences that tend to surface and take over our thoughts.

Toby was probably scared when he came home with us-complete strangers.   His smile and attitude kept him calm and made it easier for him to get used to us.

I'll leave you with one of my favorite verses.

Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice.

Lesson 2: Be Tenacious

Toby was a Soft-coated Wheaten Terrier.  The breed is a very beautiful,  but tenacious type of dog.  I remember the days of house training.  We would block the door way to the bathroom while we left for a short while to run errands, etc.   It never failed.   He would always escape from that room no matter what we put in front of the door to block his escape. 

Because of his extremely amazing abilities of escaping, we began to call him MacGyver because he would get very creative with his escape route.  Oh how that makes me smile. 

My point in telling this story is that we should all be tenacious. Fight for your dreams,  your passions, your beliefs.   Don't give up.   Be creative.   If you don't have a creative bone in your body,  find someone that does.  Success often comes through the help of others.   We tend to model our behavior after people we're spending time with.

Toby didn't give up.   Not even in his last days.   He was stubborn when I gave him baths.   It was not an easy task because he did whatever he could to make it that way.  During his last bath,  he mustered up all the strength he could to avoid getting the dreaded bath.

Always keep your eye on the prize and be tenacious in your efforts to reach for your dreams and goals.

Philippians 3:14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.